March 4, 2012 Email

Dear Mom and Dad,

Hey Dad, question: you said "your first greenie," how many times did you train?

I like the picture of Braidyn in the tuxedo. I didn't know that you kept the tuxedo that I was sealed in, that's pretty special. He's a cutie, he looks a lot like Kyle.

Being a trainer is a very different experience compared to any other responsibilities I've had in the field. Its definitely a lot harder, I'm used to having a companion that's already been, well, trained. But its a lot more fun. Elder Powell is so diligent and has such a pure testimony of the Gospel, having such a great New Missionary makes training great. Its fun going and trying new foods, having him sit down with grandpa's at the park, etc. His dad served here almost 30 years ago, so he had some stories and experiences from his dad. That's pretty cool. Dad, I haven't forgotten, the 2014 World Cup in Brazil. While we're in the neighborhood, we may as well visit your old mission. I'm totally game!

By the way, I hope you don't go on a mission until I'm home at least. But I'm still going to give you pressure about it. Even if its a few years away, its a great goal to work towards.

I received Tess's wedding invitation today, that was weird. Its weird to think both Colbie and Tess are now married. I'm not married, in case you were wondering. Its hard to believe that we are adults! I still have a goal of getting married the summer after I get home. But don't think I'll have my RM goggles on, I have standards.

1. She needs to be a return missionary AND/OR a super solid member.

2. She'll have to admire my beard.

3. She'll need to be on board with the flock of sheep thing.

Yeah, that's right. So if any one is interested with setting me up on blind dates after the mission, you may want to inform them of my standards of excellence.

So, mom, guess what. Yesterday, I drank a 2 liter of Coca Cola at dinner. And guess what? That's right, I couldn't fall asleep! Today, I feel gross. So guess what? I've decided never to drink caffeine ever again! I have enough bad habits and weaknesses that I'm trying to change, I don't need to be flooding my body with unnatural chemicals. Remember how I never slept during high school, and you said it was because of caffeine? Yeah, you were right. Sorry for not listening.

So Elder Baker and I were contacting one day, and we met a white guy in a jogging suit, wearing a fisherman's hat, and carrying to large bamboo poles. This was our conversation:

"Hey, what are you doing with those poles?"

"blah blah Cambodia blah blah crash! unconscious, where are they taking me? blah blah being mugged blah blah wear a helmet, boys! blah blah pedals on the handle bars, no success blah blah don't swim, humans are born to walk! blah blah keeps the blood circulating. Where are you boys from?"

"Uhh...Utah."

"Idaho. Where are you from?"

"Wyoming. Are you boys in the army?"

"No."

"Good."

"Why do you ask?"

"Army blah blah Iraq blah blah slavery blah blah oil prices blah blah the Banks own everything! blah blah Jewish Bankers conspiracy blah blah Obama is from a Jewish canal! blah blah Islam has good standards blah blah Mormons are great blah blah President Bishop blah blah Israeli Secret Service blah blah tithing blah blah "Lives" by Plutarch, blah blah smoking cigars blah blah pornography is evil blah blah "its all a bunch of lies and dirty tricks!" blah blah set goals and make plans blah blah angry Mormon women blah blah I miss my wife blah blah Harvard University Advance Management Program. Have a good day boys!"

"Oh...bye!..."

And he was gone.

Yeah, that's basically what happened. Except he said other stuff that I forgot. It took about 45 minutes, and that is literally all that I said the entire time. Fascinating. Elder Baker and I were pretty dazed for the rest of the day.

On a more interesting note, Huang Yi Kai is super solid. He is super prepared, and its all from himself and from the Spirit. He will be baptized on March 17Th. I love this man, and it will give Elder Powell a good example of a prepared baptism in his first move call.

I love you! Have a good week!

-Elder Travis Leatham